It didn’t take long for me to answer. I was reflecting on my Christian tradition that freely uses the words brother and sister to describe one another, and I was very aware that believers from a Muslim background often lose their families when they choose to follow Jesus. They need family.

“Of course,” I said to him. “Of course you are my brother.”
“In that case,” he replied, “will you help me find a job?”
I paused. I had never helped anyone find a job before. But he needed work, and he was my brother. “Yes,” I said. “I will try to help you.”
He thought again. “And if I can’t find a job… will you lend me money?”

I stopped. I had lent money to a couple of close friends over the years, but not often. I thought about my own sister — if she needed money, would I lend it to her? Yes, I would. So would I lend it to him? He was my brother… but I had only known him a few months. I didn’t quite know how to answer with both love and authenticity.

Before I could speak, he asked again: “And if I need somewhere to stay, can I live in your house?”

I thought about my home — three young children and one long term lodger already living with us. I wondered where he would sleep. But again, I thought: if my sister truly needed somewhere to stay, would I not put her up?

And again, before I could answer, he asked one more question: “Will you find me someone to marry?”

In his culture, if his father was not alive, his older brothers would help him find a wife. Would I do that? I had no experience of matchmaking, yet here was my brother in need.
Of course, he was asking all these questions through his cultural lens of what it means to be a brother. I was thinking through mine — what those phrases mean in my culture, and what responsibilities they carry.

When Muslims come to follow the Lord Jesus, they need family. But naturally, they look for family as they understand it. And the challenge for us in the church is this: How can we be real family — family as they need us to be? Not just the kind of family who see each other at Christmas and birthdays, but the kind who house one another, lend money to one another, support one another through thick and thin. The kind who show up whenever a sibling has need.

Could I be that sort of brother to him?

I’m still learning how to answer some of the questions he asked me. And I’m still learning what it really means to be a brother to these precious brothers and sisters who have lost so much — often their own families — and who are seeking love, welcome, and hospitality. They are difficult questions, but they are good ones. And they are shaping me as I seek to become more like Jesus, and more like a true brother to them.